What does pleasure mean to you?
A few journaling prompts to help you redefine it
We need to talk about pleasure. Not the guilty ones because we shouldn’t feel guilty about anything that brings us joy. Not the dopamine hits of buying new things or eating that piece of chocolate.
We need to discuss sexual pleasure.
When you’re in perimenopause, the conversation around sexual pleasure is different. For me it’s mostly been, “What the fuck happened to my libido?” (See my first ever Substack post.)
I’ve been lucky enough to have a doctor who listens to my concerns and prescribed me estrogen patches for my perimenopausal symptoms. But it hasn’t solved all of my symptoms. I’m no longer estranged from my libido. It’s still elusive, like finding a pair of jeans that fit you perfectly.
I miss the days where I could jump my partner at any hint of boning (or eating). I miss the days where orgasms came easily and quickly. I miss the days of lazy mornings alone with my vibrator.
I’ve learned that it’s ok to miss all those things. There’s a grieving that comes with our bodies changing. It took me a while (and hormone replacement therapy) to accept that my body reacts different to sensual touch and dirty talk. I can think more clearly when I’m sleeping better and have less hot flashes.
However, I refuse to accept a pleasureless life. I want to be able to enjoy myself sexually, with and without my partner while I’m still alive.
What if we redefine what pleasure means?
What I am trying to do is redefine what pleasure means to me as an individual. Not what media or society thinks. I’ve been journaling by hand since middle school. It’s how I process my thoughts and feelings.
I invite you to do it as well, no matter what stage you are in life. Grab your journal or open your note taking app. Analog or digital isn’t important. Record your responses and revisit these prompts periodically to see how you’ve evolved.
Journaling prompts for redefining your sexual pleasure
Take your time with these. Honor your feelings and take breaks when needed. You might write down quick responses and come back later to elaborate or add to them. That’s ok. This is for you and no one else.
What does pleasure mean to you? How has it changed?
What is your current relationship with pleasure as you defined it above? What about now?
Why do you feel this way about? How has it affected your relationship with yourself and others?
How can you redefine what pleasure means to you in order to create a more comfortable relationship with it?
What are 4 specific ways you can honor this new definition of pleasure?
If you feel so inclined, I’d love to hear how these journaling prompts worked for you. Send me a message or leave a comment. You do not have to share your responses if you don’t want to.
The next time we discuss this topic, I’ll share prompts on ways you can rediscover your sexual pleasure.